By Laura Collins
First off; I hate the name of this book, although admittedly I have had a few funny conversations about it. I am not sure why it sounds so ridiculous, but all I can think of is having a Pet Anorexic. Somehow the title gives inhumane connotations.
Next up in the series...
Eating with your Dog
On a serious note, I guess the book could be useful to those who believe in family-based treatment. I don't, unless the patient is really young. I believe that the interactions within the family should be looked at, but I do not think that this should be the basis of the therapy for fear over over-dependance or a feeling of being trapped by the family. I could be wrong though.
A good point that Collins made was:
‘Anorexics do not lack appetite, they are afraid of it.’
Alba, an explanation if not an excuse for the title?
ReplyDeleteI wrote the book as a darkly-humorous memoir of my experience, not as a how-to. The title was a play on the idea of a mechanics book - like "Fixing your Motorcycle" or "Walking With Your Labrador." It was meant as a poke at the idea that there was some simple solution, but also that eating with a patient with anorexia isn't mechanical at all.
Unfortunately, few people got the joke, notably including the publisher - who sold it like a How To. It was my first book deal, and I didn't argue!
Thankyou for your comment,
ReplyDeleteI must admit that the rest of your book didn't seem to match the first impression I got from the title. But unfortunately first impressions last, especially when it stares you in the face every time you pick up the book! The actual content sounded very sincere and I could see your determination to help people through what you went through with your daughter.
However, having been a young sufferer myself, I just cannot comprehend how someone who was so involved emotionally, fearing for my life (i.e. my mum) could ever detatch herself enough to help me with my food in a constructive way. And even if she could, I don't think I could detatch myself enough to get better for my own good, rather than getting better solely to please her. If that makes sense.
On saying that, I can understand why your publisher thought it would be better to promote it as a 'how-to' book rather than a memoir. Although I do not agree that there was enough evidence to do this and I personally would have respected it more if it was just a memoir!
On the other hand, I also understand why you did not argue, I don't think I would have argued with someone offering me a first book deal either!
x
Families need help learning the skills and reason for that loving, firm, calm detachment. It doesn't come naturally to anyone, especially under stress. But what's interesting is that families DO achieve this with the right clinical support - all the time. Families that are a MESS can be transformed, even improved for the future (ours was).
ReplyDeletePatients struggle with this of course - but it becomes the job of the clinicians and the parents to lovingly and skillfully create an environment for that. It is okay for the patient to resist, to hate it, not to understand it - that's okay. We need to keep them safe until they can achieve insight, and get free, and then move toward TRUE independence from family and ED!