2. To Die For

By Carol Lee

Told in alternating chapters; half in the past when Carol meets Emma as a child, and half during the hell of Emma's eating disorders. I found the chapters detailing Emma's illness the most interesting, as she went through extremely severe cycles of both Anorexia and Bulimia plus compulsive overeating. It is the only book I have read so far which deals with all three disorders in such honest detail. Ideally, I would quote most of Emma's diary extracts, but to summarise I will leave you with two that I can particularly relate to:

‘i want this act of self-destruction to be recorded, documented, so that i never forget I did it. Anorexia is a fog in my memory, my decent into madness... Life has so much more to offer than this non-life... But first i want to get worse... i want to experience it as i now am – with me at the controls, hurtling this body into oblivion...’

‘...Our lovely surroundings have had a deeply unsettling effect on her. Startlingly beautiful as they are, they strip her of something. They do not provide her with a reason to be angry and they unlock a dread in her that it is only she, Emma, who is bad and wrong.’